Boss employment Office Jokes

Very funny jokes about your boss about your office.

Carrot, Potato and a Dick

There was a Carrot, Potato and a Dick, They were all sat round a table one day discusing who had the worst boss,

The Carrot debated he had the boss cause his boss chops him up and feeds him to his horse,

The Potato debates he has the worst boss cause his puts him in a red hot oven for an hour or so and eats him,

Then the Dick says my boss is far worst than any of yours mine sticks me in a smelly black hole to do a thousand press ups then be sick!!! 

Your boss like a diaper?

Why is your boss like a diaper? he is always on your ass and most of the time he is full of shit.

Jack or Mary?

There was a boss who was told by his boss that he had to get rid of at least one employee. So he narrowed the decision to one of two new employees, Jack or Mary. He then decided to speak to each one privately, and let their reactions help guide his decision.

So he called in Jack, explained the situation and, of course, Jack said he didn't want to lose his job, but he understood the boss's situation.

Then he called in Mary, and said, 'Mary, I've got a problem; By the end of the day, I've got to lay you or Jack off...'

And Mary says, 'Then you're gonna have to jack off, buster, I've got a headache!'

Lord made man.

When the Lord made man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be boss.

The brain explained, "Since I control everything and do all the thinking, I should be the boss."

The feet suggested, "Since I carry man wherever he wants to go and get him in position to do what the brain wants, then I should be the boss."

The hands argued, "Since I must do all the work and earn all the money to keep the rest of you going, I should be the boss."

And so it went with the eyes, the heart, the lungs, and all the other parts of the body, each giving the reason why they should be the boss.

Finally, the asshole spoke up and said it was going to be the boss.

All the other parts laughed and laughed at the idea of the asshole being the boss. The asshole got so mad that he closed up and refused to function.

After a few days, the brain grew feverish and could barely think, the feet felt like lead weights and were too weak to drag the body anywhere, the eyes got crossed and couldn't see, and the hands hung useless at the sides. They all conceded and made the asshole boss

And so it happened; all the other parts did all the work and the asshole just bossed and passed out a lot of crap.

THE MORAL: You don't have to be a brain to be a boss, just an asshole.

Alternate moral: No matter how well things are going, it can all be shut down by a single asshole.