Bar jokes

Thief

This guy is sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink.

He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making bully steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.

The poor man starts crying. The bully says: ''Come on man, I was just joking. Tell ya what, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying.''

No, it's not that. Today day is the worst of my life. First, I overslept and was late to an important meeting. My boss was outrageous and fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen.

The police said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, paid the cab driver, and the cab drove off. It was then I found that I left my wallet in the cab. I finally got home only to find my wife was in bed with another man. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison...''

Golden Bar

A man walks into a bar..

Everything in this bar is golden!

Golden carpets, golden shotglasses, golden beermats......

After one too many drinks he stumbles into what he thinks is the toilet and theres even a golden urinal!!

The man goes home and tells his wife about this place and she isnt convinced, so in the morning she fones the bar and says, "Is every thing in your bar golden..? Golden carpets, golden shotglasses, golden beermats???"

"Yes" ansers the bartender..

"What about a golden urinal????"

"Hold on" says the bartender....

"Eddie.. I think we found the guy who leaked in your saxafone!!!!!!!".